When two people are dating we often hear about their puppy love, tiffs, both big and small but the moment they get into a serious relationship, we barely get to know what’s really going on in their life. We help you get an insight into the secret of modern marriages!
The unspoken pressure on married couples to present a happy, healthy relationship to the outer world doesn’t let anyone get a peek inside their real world. Admitting that you are unhappy can be seen as failure so people prefer to keep such details to themselves. Also, as soon as we experience a lull in our sex life, we assume that everyone else must be having more sex than we are. We found out five common issues that all married couples face...
Sex can be boring, occasionally
True, sex can occasionally be messy, painful, boring and unwanted. Shares HR consultant Deepika Kapur, “The first time we had boring sex, I was left shaken. I thought our chemistry was over and now our sack sessions would never be good again. But I soon got over the fear. Our next sack session was one of the best that we ever had.”
One partner is always left craving
No two people in a marriage have the same libido. One is always left craving for sex. Modern life has also given way to new sexual pressures and expectations that can not always be met. Says consultant Hemant Sinha, “I have always had a high sex drive. My wife and I have fantabulous sex but there are many times when I am craving for it and she’s not in a mood.”
Sex drive disappears once in a while
The reality is that a large number of couples experience sexual difficulties at some point of time in their marriage. This is when their sex drive drops. Suggest sex therapist Payal Kapoor, “Instead of thinking how badly it reflects your feelings for the partner, concentrate on bigger issues that are making you feel disinterested in sex.” Payal goes on to add, “Sometimes separate beds can reignite the spark! It has helped many couples I have known. It breaks the monotony and makes them long for each other.”
Sexually unfaithful thoughts are common
Some people need constant reminders of how desirable and sexy they still look. When that doesn’t happen, they look for admiration outside. And having sexually unfaithful thoughts are common. Someone rightly said, ‘Sex pulls you away but love gets you back!’ Adds psychologist Seema Hingorani, “It is human tendency to feel wanted. And when couples don’t get it in their marriage, they seek it outside and such thoughts are common.”
Incessant fights are normal
You often wonder seeing a happy couple around you how they manage to be so in love, while you pull the trigger almost every second day. Do not feel guilty thinking you are the only one who does it. All couples fight, and this is the rule!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Hungry for love? Find out
Do you run from serious relationships or do you come across as too hungry for love? Take this quiz to find out ...
Words like commitment, long-term relationships make you squirm? Or do you think you come across as someone who is simply too eager to please? Are you the kind who runs away from commitment or are you someone who just jumps in? What are your commitment levels? Answer these questions to find out...
You partner wants you to meet his/her parents. This is what you feel...
A. Finally! Am elated.
B. Nervous but looking forward to it.
C. I wish it wouldn’t work out. Can’t escape the sense of dread.
When you think of movies where the bride/groom jilts at the last moment and runs away from the mandap, this is what comes to your mind...
A. Only Bollywood can come up with such unrealisticscenes.
B. ...That’s how my last relationship ended.
C. Wow. Bless Bollywood... I always learn the tricks from these scenes.
This is what would happen if your level of interest and your partner’s were placed on either sides of a seesaw...
A. My side would clunk to the ground. I’m more ready to get serious.
B. The scale would settle right in the middle.
C. I’d be way up in the air. My partner’s interest outweighs mine.
You meet this girl/guy and both have a great time hanging out...
A. She/he was just right...I think I’ll get married after all.
B. Wow. Cannot wait to see him/her again!
C. That was good. It can’t be true. Will avoid him/her.
You read through your partner’s loving email...
A. This is just what I needed to make my day!
B. I could never love anyone who uses so many exclamation marks.
C. He/ she loves me...
You have been dating this guy/girl for some weeks and he/she has met:
A. Not just your family, friends, pets, relatives but your colleagues as well.
B. Your roommate and your best friend.
C. No one. It’s better not to involve new people in your life so soon.
Who decides how much time you spend together...
A. My partner. If I had my way, I would be with him/her 24X7!
B. Mutual agreement, based on both our work schedules.
C. Me, mostly.
You visit your happily married friends. Your first thought is:
A. I hope to achieve such peace and harmony with another person.
B. Oh, how nice.
C. Such a boring existence. I hope I never get trapped in such a routine!
Mostly A
You are hungry for love and seem to be over-eager and in a rush to make all your relationships permanent. You may be someone who is just too ready to commit and thereby you probably end up picking partners who are not the right ones.
Mostly B
You are open to love and like keeping a healthy balance by giving yourself truly over to a relationship yet maintaining a life of your own. You know how to appreciate your friends.
Mostly C
You are suffering from commitment phobia and your intense fear of relationships is costing you your happiness. You are scared of long-term relationships and must take concrete steps to break the pattern.
Words like commitment, long-term relationships make you squirm? Or do you think you come across as someone who is simply too eager to please? Are you the kind who runs away from commitment or are you someone who just jumps in? What are your commitment levels? Answer these questions to find out...
You partner wants you to meet his/her parents. This is what you feel...
A. Finally! Am elated.
B. Nervous but looking forward to it.
C. I wish it wouldn’t work out. Can’t escape the sense of dread.
When you think of movies where the bride/groom jilts at the last moment and runs away from the mandap, this is what comes to your mind...
A. Only Bollywood can come up with such unrealisticscenes.
B. ...That’s how my last relationship ended.
C. Wow. Bless Bollywood... I always learn the tricks from these scenes.
This is what would happen if your level of interest and your partner’s were placed on either sides of a seesaw...
A. My side would clunk to the ground. I’m more ready to get serious.
B. The scale would settle right in the middle.
C. I’d be way up in the air. My partner’s interest outweighs mine.
You meet this girl/guy and both have a great time hanging out...
A. She/he was just right...I think I’ll get married after all.
B. Wow. Cannot wait to see him/her again!
C. That was good. It can’t be true. Will avoid him/her.
You read through your partner’s loving email...
A. This is just what I needed to make my day!
B. I could never love anyone who uses so many exclamation marks.
C. He/ she loves me...
You have been dating this guy/girl for some weeks and he/she has met:
A. Not just your family, friends, pets, relatives but your colleagues as well.
B. Your roommate and your best friend.
C. No one. It’s better not to involve new people in your life so soon.
Who decides how much time you spend together...
A. My partner. If I had my way, I would be with him/her 24X7!
B. Mutual agreement, based on both our work schedules.
C. Me, mostly.
You visit your happily married friends. Your first thought is:
A. I hope to achieve such peace and harmony with another person.
B. Oh, how nice.
C. Such a boring existence. I hope I never get trapped in such a routine!
Mostly A
You are hungry for love and seem to be over-eager and in a rush to make all your relationships permanent. You may be someone who is just too ready to commit and thereby you probably end up picking partners who are not the right ones.
Mostly B
You are open to love and like keeping a healthy balance by giving yourself truly over to a relationship yet maintaining a life of your own. You know how to appreciate your friends.
Mostly C
You are suffering from commitment phobia and your intense fear of relationships is costing you your happiness. You are scared of long-term relationships and must take concrete steps to break the pattern.
No budget worries for Youngistan
The latest commercial for Cadbury's Daily Milk chocolate has the tag line 'aaj pehli tareekh hai, kuch meetha ho jaaye'. It claims to capture the moments of happiness on the first of every month - when most salaried people get pay cheques. But unlike in the ad, that has an employee singing and dancing about getting his salary, advertising professional Cherry Batra has mostly bitter moments on the first day of a month. "My salary has come and gone, and it is only the second day of a 31-day month," says the 27-year-old.
Batra spends, on an average, 35% of her salary or about Rs 8,000 on credit card bills, provided she hasn't skipped payment in the previous month. She spends another 30% on everyday expenses like conveyance, food, etc and another 15-20% on entertainment. "Most of my credit-card spending is on socialising, the rest is on shopping," she says.
Batra belongs to the 70% of the country's population of 1.1 billion that is under 35. In urban India, middle and upper-class consumers like Batra are referred to as YUMPIs - Young, Urban, Mobile, Professional Indians. They are the ones who have written the India story about consumer confidence and rarely hesitate, as studies show, to bill the latest cell phones, branded clothes and accessories to their credit card.
According to the latest research in the India Retail Report 2009, retail spending by Indian consumers is expected to rise from Rs 13.3 trillion now to Rs 18.1 trillion by 2010. This huge increase can be put down to the fact that not only are incomes rising but younger people entering the workforce are more prepared to spend money than their parents were, according to Geoff Hiscock, author of 'India's Store Wars: Retail Revolution and the Battle for the Next 500 Million Shoppers'.
Hiscock reportedly said that despite the recent shocks caused by the sub-prime crisis, young Indians are prepared to borrow money and are more aware of the sources of credit available to them.
The Wallet Monitor, a study conducted by IMRB and Henley Centre, had said in December 2005 that the spending patterns of an average Indian household point towards the emergence of an "individualistic, indulgent, happy and confident Indian consumer who enjoys spending money on personal grooming and entertainment". This consumer has also given rise to a new term - 'youngistan', now frequently invoked to describe a generation whose habits in love, life and spending are anything but traditional.
It is unsurprising then that a quarter of Standard Chartered Bank's credit card holders are in the under-30 age group.
"The younger lot spend on retail fashion, eating out, gadgets etc.," says R L Prasad, GM, credit cards and personal loans.
But this should not lead one to believe that the spend mentality has replaced the save mentality. The earn-and-burn generation believes that investment for the future is important. Like banking executive Pranav Raje, who knows that a lot of older people raise their eyebrows at his expenditure of Rs 15,000 a month on socializing. "But I know investments are important and thus have bought a flat. The EMI of Rs 20, 000 is my way of saving for the future," says Raje.
There are also many young Indians like 16-year-old Mirinalini Sinha, who don't earn anything but make sure to dent their anguished mothers' "household budget by impulsive shopping and whimsical demands". Apart from the expenditure on education (she wants to go to a global school now) and general needs, Sinha spends Rs 200-300 on one 'regular outing three times a week' and between Rs 1,000-1,500 on weekend dinners and parties. "It is like she has taken it upon herself to boost the economy," exclaims Sinha's mother.
You would think that this demographically significant age group demands consideration in the Union Budget. But it doesn't. Laveesh Bandari, who heads Indicus Abacus, an economic research firm in New Delhi, says individual spending does not play a significant role in the budget. "The middle and higher income groups in urban India spend mostly on semi-luxury and luxury goods and nobody cares about that in the budget," he says. Arvind Singhal,chairman, Technopak Advisors, says, "Spending patterns of the 18-35 age group don't matter in the larger picture."
And does it matter to them that the budget may not have much in store for them? As Batra says: "If they tell me I can save more taxes on my Rs 1-lakh investment every year, I am interested. Otherwise, who cares?"
Batra spends, on an average, 35% of her salary or about Rs 8,000 on credit card bills, provided she hasn't skipped payment in the previous month. She spends another 30% on everyday expenses like conveyance, food, etc and another 15-20% on entertainment. "Most of my credit-card spending is on socialising, the rest is on shopping," she says.
Batra belongs to the 70% of the country's population of 1.1 billion that is under 35. In urban India, middle and upper-class consumers like Batra are referred to as YUMPIs - Young, Urban, Mobile, Professional Indians. They are the ones who have written the India story about consumer confidence and rarely hesitate, as studies show, to bill the latest cell phones, branded clothes and accessories to their credit card.
According to the latest research in the India Retail Report 2009, retail spending by Indian consumers is expected to rise from Rs 13.3 trillion now to Rs 18.1 trillion by 2010. This huge increase can be put down to the fact that not only are incomes rising but younger people entering the workforce are more prepared to spend money than their parents were, according to Geoff Hiscock, author of 'India's Store Wars: Retail Revolution and the Battle for the Next 500 Million Shoppers'.
Hiscock reportedly said that despite the recent shocks caused by the sub-prime crisis, young Indians are prepared to borrow money and are more aware of the sources of credit available to them.
The Wallet Monitor, a study conducted by IMRB and Henley Centre, had said in December 2005 that the spending patterns of an average Indian household point towards the emergence of an "individualistic, indulgent, happy and confident Indian consumer who enjoys spending money on personal grooming and entertainment". This consumer has also given rise to a new term - 'youngistan', now frequently invoked to describe a generation whose habits in love, life and spending are anything but traditional.
It is unsurprising then that a quarter of Standard Chartered Bank's credit card holders are in the under-30 age group.
"The younger lot spend on retail fashion, eating out, gadgets etc.," says R L Prasad, GM, credit cards and personal loans.
But this should not lead one to believe that the spend mentality has replaced the save mentality. The earn-and-burn generation believes that investment for the future is important. Like banking executive Pranav Raje, who knows that a lot of older people raise their eyebrows at his expenditure of Rs 15,000 a month on socializing. "But I know investments are important and thus have bought a flat. The EMI of Rs 20, 000 is my way of saving for the future," says Raje.
There are also many young Indians like 16-year-old Mirinalini Sinha, who don't earn anything but make sure to dent their anguished mothers' "household budget by impulsive shopping and whimsical demands". Apart from the expenditure on education (she wants to go to a global school now) and general needs, Sinha spends Rs 200-300 on one 'regular outing three times a week' and between Rs 1,000-1,500 on weekend dinners and parties. "It is like she has taken it upon herself to boost the economy," exclaims Sinha's mother.
You would think that this demographically significant age group demands consideration in the Union Budget. But it doesn't. Laveesh Bandari, who heads Indicus Abacus, an economic research firm in New Delhi, says individual spending does not play a significant role in the budget. "The middle and higher income groups in urban India spend mostly on semi-luxury and luxury goods and nobody cares about that in the budget," he says. Arvind Singhal,chairman, Technopak Advisors, says, "Spending patterns of the 18-35 age group don't matter in the larger picture."
And does it matter to them that the budget may not have much in store for them? As Batra says: "If they tell me I can save more taxes on my Rs 1-lakh investment every year, I am interested. Otherwise, who cares?"
Roar of Youngistan, a song penned to fight terrorism
RAJKOT: Tumse nahi darenge, marna hai ek baar to tumse ladke marenge (We will not fear you (terrorists), as we die just once, we will die fighting you (terrorists). These are lines of a song, the latest 'weapon' to fight terrorism a song sung by Anita Sharma, who shot to fame after her Gujarati Shakira song, and Chirag Thakkar, the Obama song maker.
"The urban literate youth is not ready to buy politics of hatred, terrorism and think that time has arrived for them to fight back," says Anita, a singer from Rajkot who had put Gujarati lyrics to famous pop icon Shakira's song 'Hips Don't Lie'. The video is a hit on the internet and was reportedly accepted by the popstar later.
"After the 26/11 terror attack in Mumbai, we decided to make a song to charge up people who believe that they are helpless before terrorism," she says.
Joining her in the song will be Chirag Thakkar, who made headlines when he wrote and produced a video album praising US President Barack Obama and earned the name the Obama song maker. Togehter they call the song ‘Roar Of Youngistan' (Young Hindustan) against terrorism.
The artists spent over four months perfecting the lyrics, the right tune and synchronising the proper video footage (including clips from the net) with it. "The song is all about condemning cowardly acts of terrorists who deceptively inflict harm on defenceless people and terrorise the world," Anita adds.
Lyricist Amit Adhiya has nowhere tried to seek sympathy in the song. "Each line pierces the heart of the young generation, who are already fed up by meek approach against the terror attacks," says Adhiya. And, while composing the song in a catchy beat, young music directors Tejas-Rushik have captured the reprisal mood quite well.
"The urban literate youth is not ready to buy politics of hatred, terrorism and think that time has arrived for them to fight back," says Anita, a singer from Rajkot who had put Gujarati lyrics to famous pop icon Shakira's song 'Hips Don't Lie'. The video is a hit on the internet and was reportedly accepted by the popstar later.
"After the 26/11 terror attack in Mumbai, we decided to make a song to charge up people who believe that they are helpless before terrorism," she says.
Joining her in the song will be Chirag Thakkar, who made headlines when he wrote and produced a video album praising US President Barack Obama and earned the name the Obama song maker. Togehter they call the song ‘Roar Of Youngistan' (Young Hindustan) against terrorism.
The artists spent over four months perfecting the lyrics, the right tune and synchronising the proper video footage (including clips from the net) with it. "The song is all about condemning cowardly acts of terrorists who deceptively inflict harm on defenceless people and terrorise the world," Anita adds.
Lyricist Amit Adhiya has nowhere tried to seek sympathy in the song. "Each line pierces the heart of the young generation, who are already fed up by meek approach against the terror attacks," says Adhiya. And, while composing the song in a catchy beat, young music directors Tejas-Rushik have captured the reprisal mood quite well.
Friday, July 2, 2010
SRK's G-string!
Taking a quick break from shooting, Shah Rukh Khan is holidaying in Spain, with Gauri and the kids in tow. And we must say he’s a true romantic at heart.
Not only is he soaking in the flavour of Spain, the man’s making music too. Yeah, he went and bought a fancy guitar, and was so thrilled to own it that he started strumming on the streets of Spain. We’re sure the pretty Spanish ladies weren’t spared of his charm. Well, he might not be a trained musician, but he’s no novice either. Apparently, a few years ago, he learned the basics of the G-string, while son Aryan was being tutored to play the instrument. So, if you think the Spaniards are the real mushballs, well, think again, lovelies. Our dilwala can strum the heartsrings no less.
Not only is he soaking in the flavour of Spain, the man’s making music too. Yeah, he went and bought a fancy guitar, and was so thrilled to own it that he started strumming on the streets of Spain. We’re sure the pretty Spanish ladies weren’t spared of his charm. Well, he might not be a trained musician, but he’s no novice either. Apparently, a few years ago, he learned the basics of the G-string, while son Aryan was being tutored to play the instrument. So, if you think the Spaniards are the real mushballs, well, think again, lovelies. Our dilwala can strum the heartsrings no less.